It's like a parade of train wrecks.
She bit a glass in half.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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