true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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