We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
