i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
