its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
