After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
