she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
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