I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
