My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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