Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
