high people should be assigned attendants
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
