How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
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