Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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