I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
