I'm gonna have a badass scar
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
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