May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
