Where did you get a picture of my penis
just come out here and I will go home with you...
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
