weddingsv make me drug and hornr
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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