i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i think i have two assholes
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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