By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
