flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
