so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize