dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
My vagina just recognized that song.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You ruined the universe
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize