fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
