Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
