glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize