So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
