so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
