that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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