i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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