I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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