It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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