So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize