So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
