duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Randomize
