My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
