I'm going to jail i love you
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
We need a shit load of segways right now
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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