May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
