I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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