My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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