No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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