So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Blood and glitter go together right?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
