he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
