I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
