try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
