This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
