I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Let's get the cat blown out
Randomize
