please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
