I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
