We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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