I cannot find my penis.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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