do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
