Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
