I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
