You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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