Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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