Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
