you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
