so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
