miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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