the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
