I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize