You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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