Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
