you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
